Why Scottish Football Is Better Than You Think

Our resident Scottish football expert explains why you need to start knowing your Dundee’s from your Livingston’s

Scottish football is brilliant.

Scottish football is having a cup competition for the wee teams and naming it after Irn-Bru and then Tunnocks, embracing Scottish stereotypes.

Scottish football is having mascots that will literaly haunt your children’s nightmares.

Scottish football is about a 93rd minute pitch invasion at Firhill to secure winning nothing.

Scottish football is about supporting a team that wins after 882 days and then gets thumped 4-0.

Scottish football is about voting yes, then no, then having your e-mail be secured in the spam folder of the football association before finally holding the rest of the league hostage. Then finally voting yes.

Scottish football is about a Championship club that will gladly host your divorce party.

Scottish football is about Kris Boyd and Kris Commons battling to speak the English language on live television.

Scottish football is crying about Sky having the TV rights.

Scottish football is Sky getting the team names and logos wrong at least every day.

Scottish football is remembering the days of BT Sports and the shenanigans of Chris, Ally, Stephen and Daryll.

Scottish football is the President of Albania praising the performance of an on-loan goalkeeper from Southampton.

Scottish football is Lorraine Kelly excited that Dundee Utd are back in the big time.

Scottish football is David Hasslehoff supporting Partick Thistle.

Scottish football is players giving as good as they’re getting to fans.

Scottish football is how many times will ‘El Buffalo’ be sent off.

Scottish football is run by Scott Brown.

Scottish football is that everyone is against Rangers.

And Celtic.

And Hearts.

Scottish football is reconstruction until we’re blue in the face.

Scottish football is Celtic fans telling Mussolini’s Grandaughter to ‘F*ck Off’ in Italian

Scottish football is statements.

Statements.

And a statement league.

And quotes of statements on fan banners.

Scottish football is Charlie Nicholas giving an opinion on Sky when you just know he hasn’t got a clue what he’s sittin’ there thinkin’

Scottish football is Craig Levein interviewing candidates for the Hearts’ job before finally hiring himself

Scottish football is Craig Levein utterly ruining Hearts and everyone having a good old chuckle at it.

Scottish football is 5-5 at Easter Road and Neil Lennon running around like a plane

Scottish football. I love it.

Published by Craig Shields

Freelance Writer and Football Coach

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